O.0

I'm scared. For what, or because of what, you may ask. Well, I'll tell you.

I had this weird dream last night. The Hulk was in it, and I went on a cruise and lived in a mansion. Well, the part that scares me is that in my dream I was I guess you could say raped. I'm not talking about sex rape, I'm talking about getting close. When the hulk guy was finished with the partial rape, he told me he was going to try to find me later and "get some more of that." I sped walked to the room I had, and apparently I had Erin over, cause I told her about it. Then I woke up.

At first it meant nothing! Now I'm scared for my life cause I've been thinking about it. Does that mean something that I had it in a dream, or... Idk, but I'm really scared now. I keep getting chills just thinking about it.

Today

I haven't done one of these in a long time, but now I wanna try. Version 2.0, with God! Sights included.

First, I am trying to starve myself. This is the only place I can say it, and be open with it. I'm trying to get skinnyier because everyone I know is paper thin, and I'm over here with loos fat nearly muffin-toppin. So, I starve. I'm trying not to eat at all. I mean, I have 3 meals a day, but there is nearly nothing to them. I had one plate of eggs this morning, one small plate, and I felt like that was too much, like I needed to go and puke it back up. Don't worry, I'm not buleimic, I'm just goong to try not to eat. I've seen my friends do this and have gotten reasons why this is bad for you, but in this case, the benifits outweigh the risks. I'm always hungry now, but that's something I'm going to have to get used to.

Bri and I actually talked today. Like, walking down the hallways kinda slowly talking about life. That was a good part of my day. We don't exactly talk much, and since Brooke is in the other lunch this year, we don't even sit together. But we do sit in the same room. ...Nah, that doesn't count.

I'm working on a novella or novel or story or whatever on here, but I haven't found the time or inspiration. It'll hit me one night after I can't get on the computer, then I forget it by morning. And if I do remember it, the next dday it sounds retarded. So that's gonna take awhile.

I need the third Pretty Little Liars book, and I need the last Clique and Hollywood Secrets books. I read them in like a day. Thank you library for finally reopening!

Well, I need to go work on that other blog post, but I ask you this to leave with: please see past my fake smile and small laughs. Inside I'm dying for something, but I don't know what. I need friend help.